Tis the season of holiday cheer, sitting around singing holiday carols and wishing for something bright and shiny across the beam. Another year is practically over and I’m wondering what have I accomplished and what have I held back from doing. Is it singing like a jazz starlet or letting my hair get caught in the wind while I surpass a wave. I have no idea, yet I’m running free still lost in my own confusion trying to put the pieces together. Is it time to do a real assessment on life and figure out what my next plan is and where it will take me. Let go of friends who only want friendship when it is convenient for them? Yet I decompress and keep moving like it’s my last. Growing pains didn’t end when puberty was over with, it’s still a process even that is scary. 10 years ago I wasn’t even thinking about the reality of what “10 years from now” would be like. I was still in my 20’s and for the most part I thought I was pretty invincible. Now 10 years from now is another reality I have to face. If the good Lord sees it fit and allow me to walk on His land, then 10 years from now will be here before I know it. To be honest I’m a little freaked out about seeing 45. Where can my life be, will there be lasting love? Children who have my laughter and faint freckles? Only time will tell. But for now I can’t sit and ponder the reality of the later and just be grateful for what I have in the present and pray for better in the future. So with that I take a humbleness and let it be the ruler of my attitude.
Tis the season of holiday cheer, gleaming smiles, and the smells of red velvet cake.
There is no feat too small or big to conquer.
Maybe this post is not necessary. Hopefully if can help someone out that is going through something and don’t know what to believe. Being single at the age of 35 is not the most God awful thing that can happen to someone. It is a reality and it is something that I do accept. At this point I really have no choice. Did I honestly think I would still be single with no children at the age of 35? No. Surely I thought I would have been married with at least 2 children by now. Do I still want all of it? Of course. Sometimes I feel I maybe fooling myself. After the age of 35 my chances of having a baby are very small. A man may be reluctant to want to marry a woman of my age cause he may feel pressured into an instant family. Well to be honest whose to say that I would want to marry the first guy that came my way today and whisk me off my feet. Passion and lust is what people usually fall for when they meet someone new. Six months can go by and he or she may not feel that way again. Not to say there is anything wrong with being swept away, but things can change very instantaneously. The thing is you have to be careful, cause as a woman your feelings can take over. Do you want to always sit and talk with your girlfriends that are single and talk about being single and men? Maybe not. But it’s still a sisterhood and we have to support one another in hopes that one will get the man of her dreams. But talking about relationships should not always be the subject of girls night out. It’s normal but it’s healthy to talk about your own dreams, what you feel. No matter what life still has to go on. Another thing don’t always compare what a friend may have that you have known for the past 10+years. If one of your best friends got married when both of you were in your 20’s and some 10 years later your wondering why your kids and her kids are not sharing play dates. This can make you feel a little nutty sometimes but it’s not for you to compare. Being single at the age of 35 is not the end all. Life will still go on. You can still set goals, live the life that you want. Your happiness should not be based on being in a relationship. Your happiness should based on who you are as a person and content with the life that you have build for yourself. This time alone should be set for self discovery
You are not drifting through the wind looking lost. You are a creation that is filled with sound and love. Wrapped with creativity for all the world to see. You are blessed beyond reason discovering a strength that you did not know you owned. Take joy in the moon and stars at night cause there is divinity in how they come together. Never doubt what your purpose is take comfort in knowing how powerful it can be. If your day did not go as planned, there is still something to smile about. It could be the beauty of the last bit of sunlight after the sun as has set or just a stranger acknowledging you with a simple a smile. This world is not ours for long but it is important to take care of it, give it the love that it deserves because in return the world will take care of you. The world ask for nothing but only to respect what it has to offer. Rejoice when you please, sing when you desire. Love like it really is your last day. Laugh even if it’s not that funny. Dance even when there is no music playing. Even stop and smell the roses if you desire. Take delight in what is delightful to you. Take a chance and experience something new. Know who you are. Remember who you are and most importantly love who you are.
This little girl from Chidester, Arkansas took a leap of faith almost 15 years ago to see what life had to offer. So the only thing I knew to do was go join the Navy and so I cussed and dranked like a Sailor!! But serious, I wanted to do other things other than the navy, but I needed a free ticket out of Arkansas. To Great Lakes, Illinois is where I went to boot camp in the middle of a freaking blizzard!!!! So I slid and fell on ice while trying to march! Oh and I was shoveling snow too! Y’all know if you went during the winter! On top of that I had dyed my hair honey blonde about 6 or 9 months before I joined the navy. While the color grew out, it also changed colors. The color was a bright orange color, and it was hot mess! My RDC or drill sergeant (for non-navy) took one look at me one morning and said: “WOW, you got some wild hair!” Being a little shy, timid and flat out awkward back then I was thinking “Yea, like totally.” After that I went to 4 commands and served on 2 ships but also was assigned temporally to 2 other ships also. The longest I’ve ever been out to sea was 120 days. Nothing.But.Ocean.
I thank God for all of the countries that I was blessed to see(“…He maketh me lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.”) and the amazing people that have touched my life. My best command was in Apra Harbor, Guam (my first command). An island that is 50 times smaller than Hawaii(30 miles long to be exact) and the elements of your own neighborhood. The funny thing is that we worked like nobodies business back then and we fought, hung out, had house parties, even our very own DJ that turning the spinning and turning the records!!! Sat on front porches still in our uniforms cussing and drinking like Sailors, cooked on the weekends and still partied like it really was nobodies business. Only to go to other countries and make the best memories ever. If you know the hunch or remember the Hunch in Yokosuka, Japan-well what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. It was a family. Some of the friends I meet back then were friends that I was searching for even when I was girl in high school. Those people are still my best friends till this day. Time went by so fast. But I would not change nothing about that time. Well maybe somethings. The military does not define me, but it is apart of my life. I dont expect everyone to like the fact that I served. But at the same token I dont expect for one to blatantly disrespect the uniform. I dont frown on anyone that makes the choices to support their own. It’s not a life for everyone cause your life is really not your life anymore once you raise your right hand. Raising your right hand, saying the oath and signing the contract is the choice that person wishes to make.
Luckily we had a period in Guam where we were in port for close to 6 months and I can honestly say that was the best time while I was in Guam. All those house parties? Yep! Unfortunately a horrific tragedy occurred on 9/11. That day did shaped the state this world is in now. After that it was not relax in Guam for a while. But no where as near as rough as it was in Virginia. One year prior to that a US ship was bombed off the coast of Yemen. When news broke of that story I remember being Sasebo, Japan at the time. Our chief was briefed us on the story the next morning. I had only been in the navy for over a year and could only wonder “this is real” We were very lucky to not even be on that side of the ocean back then. But it was not fortunate for some of those service members either. Later on in my career I had to work for someone that served on that ship. All I could say it was an experience and at times it could be hard to hear the stories over and over again almost to the point you thought you might have been on that ship, trying to save the ship and save the lives of the ones that were severely injured. I could go on but I can’t anymore.
Thinking back I had a chance to work with the British Navy briefly while I was in Virginia and somehow I charmed the socks off a British fellow. He wanted me to come out to England when time permitted and wanted to take me around the country side of England. Me being me was like “Oh yea, I would love to go!!!” Well my ship came back to Norfolk and when I stepped foot off the ship the day we got back I didn’t give that chap a thought. Yea, I know that was my fault!! That was one of many personal lost! One of my professional lost was taking a tour in Virginia when I had a chance to go to Spain for 2 years. I know what some may think. But being in Virginia really taught me more about the fleet that I dont think I would have gotten in Spain. I still had a chance to see Spain, wished I could have seen more of the country but at least I had a chance to go and it is beautiful…. So to all my Veterans today this is your day. And like we were told at the end of boot camp “Bravo Zulu on a job well done!!!” Thank you for being in my life cause God placed you for a reason. I said I wasn’t going to do this, but I’m always a big pile of love inside. I thank the ones that took the time to read this.
Crystal S. Purifoy-USN OS(SW)
Right now the world is going through one to many changes. Sad to say that millions of people across the country are counting on a check from the man. At the rate of the way things are going; it can be anyone’s call. It’s easy to just throw your hands up and say “I’m done, I’m tired of doing this everyday”. I hate to say it but there are a lot of people that would love to see everyday people crumble, starve, steal, beg for their basic necessities in life. Yet still I believe in a dream that will remain all mines. I ask you that are reading this today to also stand strong on your dreams. Encourage those in your surroundings to never give up on your dreams. That is the light that you can carry to be the best that you can be. No one knows what’s in your heart but yours truly.
This will be part of a 4 part series on ways that can be helpful on finding your light.
Mahalo for reading
It’s nice to be in a tropical place year round. I dont miss 20 degree weather or driving in the snow. But sometimes it would be nice to enjoy a nice fall afternoon. With a hot cup of my favorite latte too.
Sometimes having an office job is great! However you must be careful through out the day to not stay in a “rut”Sitting too long can be a strain on parts of your body that you wouldn’t think about. My best advice is if you know you’ve been at your desk for more than hour get up do some stretching, running in place or take a quick walk on your break. Not only can this energize you but also keep you away from any sugary snacks around that mid-afternoon crash at 2pm!