It seems like more and more adults that I meet are usually over 30 and have never been married. Many are quite content with their single life. Like many they have a good job, have an education, own their home, have something put away for a rainy day. Many have traveled the world, dated people from different walks of life. But they have grown a costumed to a single life that I believe the average married woman may envy secretly at least once during the course of their friendship. I would be lying if I said that I don’t envy one of my married friends that have their own children. Sometimes you just want something different, and the thought of going to another friend kids birthday party does not always help or can make you feel some type of way. Just an honest opinion. I have heard from both ends of the table (men and women) that is: if your over 30 and still single something is deeply wrong with you. Especially if you have never been married. Or your longest relationship lasted less than a year. How you can honestly validate such a thing? Some people actually choose to be single and that is a choice that they are comfortable living with. Others on the other hand may not know how to properly deal with the pressures of a relationship and they may exit out when things seems to be to perplexed. This could be a growing trend and after 5 years of this type of behavior you have to ask yourself “what have I been doing wrong?” The list could simply go on but this is not that type of post today. I’m hear to say that you are not crazy or something is wrong with you if you are still single. Now to add with that if you know you have issues that you need to work on to better yourself and you want to enter a new relationship with more clarity then please by all means take the time you need to better yourself.
Personally if I was entering a new relationship with a new guy and he is over 30 and single and with no kids, then that’s even better. I don’t feel the need to question why he is still single or why he doesn’t have children. It’s obvious that he has lived his life. Got an education, traveled, worked hard for his career, has his own interests etc. I see it as he’s not bringing any baggage to the relationship. The time that has to spend with you is your time together. And if he is not paying child support or alimony then guess what? He’ll want to take you out to a nice restaurant. So it can work to your advantage you have to let go of any crazy ideas that are swimming around in your mind. With that being said if you do feel something is off then trust your gut.
There are so many blogs that will give you a run down to why you are still single. And I’m hoping that not one intelligent woman will actually click-through all the pages (or even read the post) and tell you why you are still single. It’s very disheartening to think you need to read that type of drivel to justify your own status. I will admit that I actually sat down one day and click-through one of those post and wondered what applied to me. I had to stop myself and realize “who actually writes this type of crap.” For someone who wants to be in a relationship, more than likely this is the last thing they want to read when they are catching up on their favorite blog site. The dating world can be scary but having this type of “reality check” does not put things into a better perspective.
For the ladies out there that is not giving up on love then keep doing what makes YOU happy. If you desire to become a wife then present yourself in that type of light to strike the attention that you deserve. Is it ok to ask a guy out? Yes it’s totally normal. If he rejects, then fine. If it bothers you a little then don’t sweat it for too long. Cause yea it is his loss. But at the same time it may mean that he does not feel that he is the right guy for you. He may feel that someone better will come your way.
So this single life will not last forever if you truly don’t want it to. If you have went through your own experiences with relationships in the past that did not work in your favor, it does not mean you should settle less. Love is a wonder that should always keep you challenged.
For some of you that have followed by blog thank your taking the time out to read my postings and the same with this post as well. My last post was back in March and since then I have been in a complete “bloggers block”. Figuring out what direction I wanted to go was something that I was searching for. I consider myself a chameleon, I like so many different things but at the same time it’s easy for me to get bored. Even more I’m blessed enough to live on one of the most beautiful island in the world. Even here in Hawaii it’s self could be the sole topic. But this wont be a blog about Hawaii, but there could be some post about the island that could interest someone in hopes to visit this beautiful place. So stay tuned for matters of the heart that concern me, interests here in Hawaii and of course my favorite thing that is like heaven: FOOD!!!
Like the old saying goes: “You can do anything you put your mind too.” How powerful are our thoughts? How do they determine what we will achieve in our life? Do you find yourself lifted when you are around positive people? But then when you are around someone who is negative you just want to run away? Normally I like to be around people who are upbeat, love to laugh a lot and always have something nice to say. In return you just want to have that same effect on people. Although we do have our times when we just don’t want to be bothered. That’s ok, you are allowed to have your days, that is what makes you human. It’s always best to let your friends, significant other or co-worker know that today is not your day. With that, they will only respect you even more. I feel that the positive energy that you bring to the universe will find its way of reaping rewards to you. If you don’t de-clutter all of the dross that is floating around in your mind, it’s going to be rather difficult to be productive. For example you may hit a rut where you are trying to look for a new job. If you repeatedly have doubts and fear that you wont get the job, then it will reflect poorly during the interview. Self confidence, a smile and a positive attitude can without a doubt land you the job that you have waited for. Another tool that we sometimes forget to use is the art of visualization. For example you want to lose weight, and you want to get back in a pair of jeans that you havent seen yourself in for almost a year. You simply just imagine what you would look like in them and of course stick with a workout plan I’m guaranteed that you will get the results that you want. Yes, it will be frustrating at times but you must be able to reverse those thoughts. That power that you have is what will keep you wanting to work out and you’ll be back in those jeans and feeling pretty good. If you ever wonder why you may have failed at something in life is because you may have given up too easy. Or you could have let someone convince you that you are not good enough to achieve a goal. That negative energy is now taking over and you are lead to believe that you may not be good enough. I don’t know the most reliable means of channeling that energy in our minds. But I believe that we all have possess an enormous amount of faith inside ourselves. With that faith we have to believe that any goal big or small can be achieved. It takes hard work and dedication to achieve something that you want in life. Sometimes you may stumble and you fall. But you get up, you learn why you made that mistake and tell yourself that you wont let it happen again.
Starting your day with positive thoughts can help put you in a better spirit throughout the rest of your day. It could be anything that you choose, either positive affirmations, a scripture from the bible or a prayer. Remember that negative thoughts can drain your energy and it can keep you from being present in your moment. The more you let a negative thought affect you the stronger those thoughts become. To keep your energy at a high level here are some tips that can help.
- Yoga- Yoga teaches us to focus on our strength at that present moment. Also it helps clear your mind to prepare for your day or to help settle down at the end of the day
- Sing- It’s ok if you can’t hold a note. If you want to blast the music really loud to your favorite tune, then go ahead. It helps to release your feelings. My favorite song that reflects positivity “Summertime” by George Gershwin. Which has been covered into every genre you can think of.
- Post it-Post a favorite quote that you love and keep it different places that you usually come in contact with every day.
- Smile-Even if you don’t have anything to smile about, smile anyway. You never who you may run into. That smile could really brighten up their day.
- Do things you like-If you have a hobby that you love, do it as much as you can.
- Help someone- It’s not always going to be about you. Do something nice for a friend or even a stranger.
Just remember that the energy that you put out into this universe will reap rewards for you. I don’t always have the answer but I hope this helps
Copyright 2012 Crystal S. Purifoy