Boaz for me

One of the most enduring stories about virtue, love, and compassion is told in the Old Testament from the Book of Ruth. The love that Boaz had for Ruth could not compare to the love of Romeo and Juliet in my opinion. It teaches what women should look for in a man if she is looking for a lasting relationship. The qualities of a man should not be based on the type of car he drives, his tax bracket or an expensive watch he owns. He qualities should center around his character, integrity, how he see’s the woman he wants to be with, and a connection he has with the Creator. In other words these are the qualities that I look for. But these were some of the many qualities that Boaz possessed.

He is kind, with love

He reads scriptures with tenacity

He serves the Creator for he knows He bled for all humankind

He is moved by her smile and gentle spirit

He appreciate how diligent she is over the work she does everyday

He is intrigued by the intensity in her eyes when she speaks

He is aware of how men may look at her, but he see’s more then they will ever know

He give her all the time she needs. He knows the virtue of her and it is a glory that he awaits

He tells her the truth.  Not what she wants to hear, but what she needs to hear

He would never deceive her to make her feel inadaquate

He knows that having her heart one day is a victory is more grand than any jewel

He loves that her friends love that she is around

Yet she is beautiful on the outside, her beauty is from within

There could never be no flower more delicate than she

 

Copyright 2013 Crystal S. Purifoy

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Still figuring more ish out…….

I don’t think we can never have it all figured out. It does not matter where you were raised, went to school, your social status you will always be on a quest to be the best that you can possibly be. But can it be exhausting sometimes? Still there are things that always have to be done. Buy groceries, pay the bills, drop the dog off at the vet, catch up on this new book a friend told you about, join this outreach group the list just keeps on going. There will be always something. Everyday there is a lesson to be learned. Someone could have given you some really sound advice to put things in a completely different perspective. Or you may have been reminded how good you have it in life, cause someone you just meet showed you the troubles of their own world by just taking one look in their eyes. Never block a blessing and never take a blessing for granted. Even something as simple as being offered a seat on a crowded bus could be a blessing to others. Today on my lunch break I left for work and on my way back I was got stuck at a stop light. For some reason during all of that lunch hour rush, I found something tranquil just by being at that stop light for one minute. Maybe the reason was I was under a shaded tree and I caught a nice swift breeze. Whatever the reason may have been I took delight in those last few seconds and gave thanks to the Creator. Maybe I’m being silly, maybe my lunch was to light I don’t know. It’s important to be appreciative of still moments in a rushed environment.

So maybe what I’m trying to figure out today, I don’t get. Hopefully I’ll get the answer the next day. Or maybe it will just come to me in a very still moment. The thing I love the most about life is that it will take you to some places that you may have never given consideration. The uncertainty is what should always keep you wondering “what’s next”. There is no need to worry if your going to be ready for life’s next journey. Just have faith in the Creator, faith in that new journey and faith in yourself that it will teach you lesson’s beyond your belief.

And your not crazy if your still single….

It seems like more and more adults that I meet are usually over 30 and have never been married. Many are quite content with their single life. Like many they have a good job, have an education, own their home, have something put away for a rainy day. Many have traveled the world, dated people from different walks of life. But they have grown a costumed to a single life that I believe the average married woman may envy secretly at least once during the course of their friendship. I would be lying if I said that I don’t envy one of my married friends that have their own children. Sometimes you just want something different, and the thought of going to another friend kids birthday party does not always help or can make you feel some type of way. Just an honest opinion. I have heard from both ends of the table (men and women) that is: if your over 30 and still single something is deeply wrong with you. Especially if you have never been married. Or your longest relationship lasted less than a year. How you can honestly validate such a thing? Some people actually choose to be single and that is a choice that they are comfortable living with. Others on the other hand may not know how to properly deal with the pressures of a relationship and they may exit out when things seems to be to perplexed. This could be a growing trend and after 5 years of  this type of behavior you have to ask yourself “what have I been doing wrong?” The list could simply go on but this is not that type of post today. I’m hear to say that you are not crazy or something is wrong with you if you are still single. Now to add with that if you know you have issues that you need to work on to better yourself and you want to enter a new relationship with  more clarity then please by all means take the time you need to better yourself.

Personally if I was entering a new relationship with a new guy and he is over 30 and single and with no kids, then that’s even better. I don’t feel the need to question why he is still single or why he doesn’t have children. It’s obvious that he has lived his life. Got an education, traveled, worked hard for his career, has his own interests etc. I see it as he’s not bringing any baggage to the relationship. The time that has to spend with you is your time together. And if he is not paying child support or alimony then guess what? He’ll  want to take you out to a nice restaurant. So it can work to your advantage you have to let go of any crazy ideas that are swimming around in your mind. With that being said if you do feel something is off then trust your gut.

There are so many blogs that will give you a run down to why you are still single. And I’m hoping that not one intelligent woman will actually click-through all the pages (or even read the post) and tell you why you are still single. It’s very disheartening to think you need to read that type of drivel to justify your own status. I will admit that I actually sat down one day and click-through one of those post and wondered what applied to me. I had to stop myself and realize “who actually writes this type of crap.” For someone who wants to be in a relationship, more than likely this is the last thing they want to read when they are catching up on their favorite blog site. The dating world can be scary but having this type of “reality check” does not put things into a better perspective.

For the ladies out there that is not giving up on love then keep doing what makes YOU happy. If you desire to become a wife then present yourself in that type of light to strike the attention that you deserve. Is it ok to ask a guy out? Yes it’s totally normal. If he rejects, then fine. If it bothers you a little then don’t sweat it for too long. Cause yea it is his loss. But at the same time it may mean that he does not feel that he is the right guy for you. He may feel that someone better will come your way.

So this single life will not last forever if you truly don’t want it to.  If you have went through your own experiences with relationships in the past that did not work in your favor, it does not mean you should settle less. Love is a wonder that should always keep you challenged.

Positive Thinking And It’s Power

Like the old saying goes: “You can do anything you put your mind too.” How powerful are our thoughts? How do they determine what we will achieve in our life? Do you find yourself lifted when you are around positive people? But then when you are around someone who is negative you just want to run away? Normally I like to be around people who are upbeat, love to laugh a lot and always have something nice to say. In return you just want to have that same effect on people. Although we do have our times when we just don’t want to be bothered. That’s ok, you are allowed to have your days, that is what makes you human. It’s always best to let your friends, significant other or co-worker know that today is not your day. With that, they will only respect you even more. I feel that the positive energy that you bring to the universe will find its way of reaping rewards to you. If you don’t de-clutter all of the dross that is floating around in your mind, it’s going to be rather difficult to be productive. For example you may hit a rut where you are trying to look for a new job. If you repeatedly have doubts and fear that you wont get the job, then it will reflect poorly during the interview.  Self confidence, a smile and a positive attitude can without a doubt land you the job that you have waited for. Another tool that we sometimes forget to use is the art of visualization. For example you want to lose weight, and you want to get back in a pair of jeans that you havent seen yourself in for almost a year. You simply just imagine what you would look like in them and of course stick with a workout plan I’m guaranteed that you will get the results that you want. Yes, it will be frustrating at times but you must be able to reverse those thoughts. That power that you have is what will keep you wanting to work out and you’ll be back in those jeans and feeling pretty good. If you ever wonder why you may have failed at something in life is because you may have given up too easy. Or you could have let someone convince you that you are not good enough to achieve a goal.  That negative energy is now taking over and you are lead to believe that you may not be good enough. I don’t know the most reliable means of channeling that energy in our minds. But I believe that we all have possess an enormous amount of faith inside ourselves. With that faith we have to believe that any goal big or small can be achieved. It takes hard work and dedication to achieve something that you want in life. Sometimes you may stumble and you fall. But you get up, you learn why you made that mistake and tell yourself that you wont let it happen again.    

Starting your day with  positive thoughts can help put you in a better spirit throughout the rest of your day. It could be anything that you choose, either positive affirmations, a scripture from the bible or a prayer.  Remember that negative thoughts can drain your energy and it can keep you from being present in your moment. The more you let a negative thought affect you the stronger those thoughts become. To keep your energy at a high level here are some tips that can help.

  1. Yoga- Yoga teaches us to focus on our strength at that present moment. Also it helps clear your mind to prepare for your day or to help settle down at the end of the day
  2. Sing- It’s ok if you can’t hold a note. If you want to blast the music really loud to your favorite tune, then go ahead. It helps to release your feelings. My favorite song that reflects positivity “Summertime” by George Gershwin. Which has been covered into every genre you can think of.
  3. Post it-Post a favorite quote that you love and keep it different places that you  usually come in contact with every day.
  4. Smile-Even if you don’t have anything to smile about, smile anyway. You never who you may run into. That smile could really brighten up their day.
  5. Do things you like-If you have a hobby that you love, do it as much as you can.
  6. Help someone- It’s not always going to be about you. Do something nice for a friend or even a stranger.

Just remember that the energy that you put out into this universe will reap rewards for you. I don’t always have the answer but I hope this helps

Copyright 2012 Crystal S. Purifoy

Single Life

There is something powerful about being single. Possibly that’s my own little conclusion that I came up with. Lets look at the obvious reasons.

  1. I can come home whenever I want.(Hands down the number one reason!)
  2. If I want to jet off to Bora Bora, I don’t have to worry about consulting with a significant other.
  3. Maybe I feel like having take out dinner because I can.
  4. I don’t have to pick up your stinky socks off the floor or tell you do it.
  5. So what if I didn’t make my bed up.

This list could keep going on, but the ones that are single or married or in a committed relationship can catch my drift. The thing is that it’s something that should not be in mourning. Your “status” does not define who you are or where you are headed in life. If anything it’s letting you know that you are capable of making decision entirely on your own. It’s not the end of the world either if your surrounded by working adults all day that want to talk your ear off about anything that is not relevant to your job. Coming home to peace and quite is like sweet nothings in my ear. Then your phone rings and one of friends have something so juicy to tell that you know you can’t blow them off cause hot juicy gossip is one of your guilty pleasures. The moral of this whole point is that if you are single you should embrace every aspect of it, and take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. If you want to learn a new hobby then you should go for it. I live in Hawaii(yea I know, how lucky) and I wish I could put the effort into learning how to paddle board, but first I need to be a stronger swimmer. If your still in search for your Prince Charming or you Cinderella chances are you may find him or her when you would at least expect it and while you are out just having a good time and enjoying your life. But in the mean time don’t have a pity party when someone tries to poop on your parade and ask you: “When are you going to settle down?” Oh I could give out a lot of responses for that one but there maybe a few not so nice four little words that could easily offend someone.

Are there other singles out there that feel the same way or maybe you could tell your own reason.

xoxo

Crystal